It was 7 months and 10 days, it was on Ching Yuan and Steph's wedding anniversary, it was the toughest decision to make, because no one likes separation. So, what happened?

It is said that love conquers all, but the truth is, I haven't, and I have just begun when I accepted the decision, because this is the best she can handle, and hence I wanna accept the best of her. All these while, I have demanded more of her, without first demanding on myself. I haven't accepted the way she is and who she is. As a result, I picked on many little things, and quarrels became frequent.

The separation is necessary, because with my current self, I will not be able to sustain any relationship, let alone marriage. Because of who I am, I have disqualified myself to be her soul mate. In other words, I am not fit because I am not able to guide, to guard or to govern. I am not able to be the prophet, priest and king. Instead of being her tower of refuge, I have become her bondage.

For the next 6 to 12 months, it will be a time of breaking and sifting, and whatever is not right has to be sifted out. I have much character flaws, and because God sees right into the future, He has to intervene right now, before a catastrophe breaks out.

Thank God that it is not a no, it is a not yet. Thank God for Eze 37, that even though the bones were indeed very dry, yet God says 'prophesy'. O Lord God, you know. But He knows the way that I take, when He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold.

I need to enlarge and refine my capacity, care (love) and character. I need to be broken to the core of my being.

I have been crying day and night, and each time I thought I was alright, tears came streaming down. If I think that I'm going through a tough time, she is going through a even tougher time. I hope that one day, I can become a rainbow.