I missed Kaushie's flight.

This is probably the most ridiculous thing, or rather, the most dramatic incident that can ever happen. I already left the office at 1700hr to pick up the honeymoon album, and reached the airport at 1900hr, so that I could send Kaushie off. Her flight was at 2125hr. I tried to call her, but apparently, she has already returned the SIM card, and she didn't take down my number. So, I couldn't contact her and neither could she. What kind of 21st century creatures we are!

And so, I was busy arranging the 200 honeymoon photos, with many pairs of eyes gazing at the artistic artwork. I reached 1 hour before the departure time, and got the counter staff to find her, but to no avail. I almost wanted to take out my card and coerce the counter staff to go into the plane and find her, if not, as the auditor of his company, I'll make sure he goes out of job for not going the extra mile.

Damn. Totally upset with myself.

A new era has dawned, yes, the DC era..

Just attended Princess Weiling and Prince William's wedding!

Honored to be sitting at the third row, together with the bridemaids. Once again, the only thorn amongst the roses. It was a beautiful night, Weiling was just so demure, so beautiful..

一個會唱歌但內心不快樂的人，跟一個快樂唱著歌的人; 前者影響自己，後者感染別人..

要懂得如何把自己照顧得好好的，她來的時候，才能把她照顧得無微不至..

A gift is not what you give, it’s what it costs you to give..
A love is not what you give, but what it costs you to give up..
Do you love me?

風信子要再開花，一定要把外面所有的生長物通通剪掉。

啊! 愚蠢的人們啊，為何總是對過去念念不忘? 把已死的花朵留在身邊，既對過去無法割捨，又沒有辦法邁向未來..

Morning madness!

Rushed to office for briefing, rushed to Shaw Tower to deliver the files, rushed to Science Park and experienced serenity after having lunch with the client. Lunch was like, family lunch. Nice! Will be here for 3 days, then I'll be on another engagement. Life of an auditor..

Recenly, so many people have tendered, and are still tendering, across all levels of staff. Something is wrong somewhere..

Staying in bed on a rare Sunday..

Yesterday, the car that I booked for the weekend was cancelled by the sales manager.

I wanted to collect the car on Thursday night, and return it on Sunday night, so that I would be charge a total of 3 days. However, he said I can't return on Sunday night beause the showroom is not opened. And so I suggested to return the car to him, since he stays very near Sin Ming. He said cannot, because he doesn't have license to drive it back to the showroom. So I suggested that he asks his colleague to drive for him, since it's so near to the showroom. Then he said, only 1 colleague has license, and that person comes very late. So I suggested, then why not I return on Monday morning? He said that's fine, but at 11am. Then I told him that I don't start work at 11am. And by returning on Monday morning, he would charge me 3.5 days.

After serveral rounds of suggestion to a supposed 'sales manager', he finally asked me to look for alternative. I've got really lots of things to say regarding this incident.

Firstly, he rents car but doesn't know how to drive, and as a result of his ignorance or inadequacy in managing that small little steering wheel, resulted in me carrying the penalty of 0.5 day rental, plus me having to take half a day off to return the car. I quote "工欲善其事，必先利其具"。What would happen if an accountant doesn't know debit and credit, and the auditor who checks on the accountant thinks that debit means plus while credit means minus? So much for the 'sales manager'!

Next, he cancelled the deal on his own accord at a very last minute. Well, it seems like the car is gonna stay idle anyway. Instead of generating a few hundred dollars of income, he would rather forfeit it and let the car stay idle. A sales manager who doesn't know opportunity cost! I proposed that I would return on Monday morning and return the key to the security guard, he agreed, but had to charge me 3.5days, so that his boss wouldn't ask him why I was charged 3 days when I held it for 3.5 days. This brings the identity of a son versus a servant/slave. A son takes ownership, but a servant follows instruction narrowly and does not even think of the bigger picture.

I am greatly disturbed by the sales manager, who is afraid of charging me 3 days, and as a result, forgo the already agreed rental! Moreover, I am the one thinking of all the possible alternatives, while he's the one who kills and destroys every possible way! I mean, with sales manager like this, how can the company not face crisis? All in all, I am in every way disgusted.

This morning, whilst waiting for QQ to come and pick us at Tanah Merah MRT, she saw me.

It was quite easy to assume that she was the girl, but shy as I was, I stood quietly afar. However, she soon noticed me. She greeted me with a sunshine smile, and walked towards me gracefully.

'Hey Dennis!'
'Hello~'

She stood gently beside me. Upon QQ's arrival, I wanted to tell her to take the front seat, but she uttered what was in my heart.

We soon reached the Airport Police, and because Cynthia forgot to print the application approval, we were faced with some hassle. As I was shuttling between the different counters, she took care of my things, she took some of my belongings from my hands so that I could be free to move around. Patiently and gently, she waited for us and helped in whatever way possible.

On our journey back, QQ for some reasons stopped us at Mac instead of the taxi stand. And when we soon found our way to the taxi stand, she asked me if I wanted to get breakfast. She cared to ask. I was supposed to drop her at ORQ, but she didn't want me to go a big round, hence she stopped at the construction site office, which was about 250m away from ORQ. That was not the best place to stop, coz it was dusty and dangerous. Before she alighted, she thanked me for sending her back. She didn't have to. As she closed the door, she turned around, waved and smiled at me. She needn't have to. All these happened in less than a minute, and I was totally dumbfounded, because no manager would do that, let alone a female manager.

It was a short encounter, but certainly a deep one. She left her traces of beauty everywhere, she left her love and care, and she kindled someone's being.

Being in the accounting industry, I have the privilege of being surrounded by mostly females most of the time. This enormous population has significantly exposed me to the various genres of this unique gender. Having met so many, there's only one thing I can say. I have never seen a true beauty till this day.

Tired. Shag. Fatigue. Exhausted.

I bought a packet of ham and put it in the freezer, and it turned into a packet of bacon. Is this how bacon is produced?

「我是全國最高行政首長，風災所有政治責任由我一肩挑。」- 劉兆玄

行政院長「玄」風式請辭，讓人看了不禁心酸。一個那麼為國家付出的領袖，一個那麼又想法，那麼傑出的政治家，因為政治責任，一肩挑起了所有的責任。就在他說出那句話的時候，那是需要多麼大的勇氣。在那麼多的危機裡，劉兆玄一次又一次的咬緊牙關，與馬英九共度患難。而在八八水災後，點名了自己是全國最高行政首長，那是多麼謙卑的，因為認清了自己的地位，也就等於扛下了所有的民怨，所有的責任..

文人畢竟是文人，蕭灑，抱負..

Thought of 2 ways to get myself out of the FJ shit next year:

1. Get married and go on wedding preparation + wedding + honeymoon leave
2. Get hospitalized in July and August 2010

Which is easier?

Today, I went for a test drive. As I shift the gear to D mode, and was all ready to set off, the car did not move. So I looked at the dealer, and he looked at me, and he looked down. Alas, handbrake!

Today during training, QQ told me that he saw a dog outside ST compound, it looked so pitiful and skinny, as their eyes met. As such, after training, I cancelled my swimming and went looking for dog food at Raffles Place, but to no avail.

Whilst waiting for QQ, Mitch invited me to the Harry's at ORQ, and I finally stepped in after 1 year in ORQ! QQ came over after his meeting, and we set off to look for food, dog food.We combed the ST compound for about an hour, but could not find doggie.We walked and whistled, hoping to attract it. Dinner was ready to be served, but doggie could not be found. After much efforts, we had no choice but to count on tomorrow, as QQ returns to ST.

Where are you doggie? Food is ready to be served..

Today, I went back to FJ after training, partly because they either had dinner very late last night, or they didn't have at all, and partly because I wanted to help out. And so, I brought dinner over.

After I was done at ten plus, i went to shut down seniors' laptop and asked the soup to pack up. And so, I was successful in rescuing everyone, if not, they would stay until 2 or 3am. That's what I went down for, to chase everyone home.

This is why I stay on in audit, and not move on to FIDS.

Special thanks to the house-moving squad: Kenneth Boey, Isaac Chua, Wei Jun, Wei Yan & Zhi Xing. If not for them, I would not have been able to move to where I am.

It is probably the most number of people I cried out to for help, because not only was I on a dayless and nightless job, I was terribly sick. Thank you for helping me pack everything, for moving everything to Serangoon and special thanks to Zhi Xing who came on the following Monday to help me unpack.

What is this love?

Feeling so happy today! Because, I finally don’t have to turn up at the Science Park after about 5 consecutive weekends! I mean, I can finally differentiate weekends from weekdays, I can finally have some proper time to do laundry, to rest, to breathe, to experience life as a human being..

The past 5 weeks have been the toughest I probably have experienced in my life thus far! Every morning is like waking up from a grave, as I dragged myself to a cemetery. Every day was like sinking deeper into hell. I thought I’ve experienced hell, and not any more until I started life at F X Benxxxxx!Thank God for the team, thank God for the freedom I had, thank God that in spite of all these, I survived, I fought the fight, not a too good one though, but at least I’ve finished the part 1 race, while part 2 will continue 2 weeks later after my training.I wanted to transfer to FIDS partly because of this job, and I so wanted to get myself out of this shit, so much so that I impressed the manager, the director and the partner so much that they offered me a place, all because of desperation and suffocation, although in the end I rejected the once-in-a-lifetime offer. How stupid? Maybe.

The fire in me turned cold. The enthusiasm turned into numbness, and the swiftness turned into deadness. Every day I prayed for it to end, but my prayer fell on deaf ears. Whatever it is, it’s over!

I have never tasted hell until I stepped into F X Benxxxxx!

Enough is enough!

I've suffered enough of threat, be it verbal, mental or physical. The threats were not absent even in the presence of my Mum, despite helping him with thousands of dollars under his coercion. The illogical behavior and the ungratefulness are counts too many. All I can say is, the vengence is the Lord's.

In times of distress, there is a shelter where I always run to and hide. On National Day, I ran back home to Old Airport Road. Upon reaching, the pain and fear all seem so far away, as I hid under the wings of Lester's Mum. She served me, comforted me, helped me and did all things possible just to make sure that I know she cares. What is this love?

Thank God, I'll be moving to Serangoon, opposite the stadium. Thank God for the beautiful environment. If the previous one was B18, this is probably cloud 9. Too early to say anything, until I move in this Saturday. I know something had to break in me for the past 1 year, and I know that the next 1 year will be much better, for all things work together for good..

Thank God, I'm offered a position in FIDS - Fraud Investigation & Dispute Services. The nature of it is forensic. However, I'm most probably gonna reject the offer. This is because over there in FIDS, the seniors are like assistants, the managers are like seniors, which means that if I go over, I won't have a say. But, I want to have a say, I want to say that I want to go home..

Today, I told my senior that I gotta come back early to do laundry, coz I have no more clothes to wear! So, we went back early.. At midnight, another senior messaged me and asked if I needed help. She asked me to bring my clothes to the client's place tomorrow so that she can iron for me! I think we need more girls like this, I'm sure the world would be a better place..

一個曾經受過傷害的人，或許很難再相信別人，也不允許他人踏進她的世界。因為，她不想透露自己的傷口，更不想讓自己想起舊傷口的痛。所以，無意之中，她傷害了真正關心她的人。之所以無意，是因為她的拒絕與否認，拒絕與否認了那個人的簡單與美好，甚至將那個人與曾傷害她的人相提並論，殊不知能被其傷害者，正因為敞開了心房才被其傷害...

$1,600

That's the cost of getting my license, approximately 20 lessons and 4 tests. Well, I must say that I ought not have passed at the 4th attempt, but the tester simply closed both eyes, so much so that he eventually had to give me 1 mistake so that I wouldn't get a perfect zero. And, I seriously should have passed at the first or third attempt, since my driving style has not changed. My first response upon passing: find the previ0us tester who failed me for some of the weirdest mistakes one can ever imagine.

This week is fun! First it started with CG celebration at the Swensons on Sunday, got my license on Monday, movie and buffet on Tuesday with Wei Jun, Runling, Isaac and Wei Yan, and a very nice chill out at the Marina Barrage and my childhood place with Joanna. Had dinner with Steph and Wei Yan at the Esplanade on Wednesday, followed by St. James with Joanna and Ms Zhu. Had lunch at my favorite 鼎泰豐 on Thursday. Rested on Friday because I sprained my neck while sleeping.. -.-

This week, the whole of EY gets to know the promotional result. Some of my friends were unfairly treated. As long as summer and winter remain, as long as the human race remains, nothing will ever be fair. For those of us who are leaving, may you find a blue sky and a green pasture, may you regain the youth and joy that were lost, may you revitalize with renewed vigor, may you smile through the storm and know that we are with you always. Do not hate, do not carry the bitterness, because that will poison your soul. I know that you are more than capable, you are more than what they think and what you think you are.

【寂寞之歌】

感覺，像是一張張、一片片薄薄得無法單位化的東西，它比羽毛更加細緻，它比纖維更加微小，經過時間的累積之後，它一張張一片片地疊在一起，增加了厚度，增加了質量，所以我們才能在心理觸摸它。

所以，感覺的集合體便是感觸。

如果感覺是一個個小小的一音符，感觸就是演奏曲子的鋼琴。
寂寞是鋼琴斷了弦了那一鍵，只有妳聽得見聲音。
每個人心裡，都有一台鋼琴，有一首寂寞之歌。

【假裝】

因為妳太美麗，讓我無法轉移視線，所以，我只好假裝月光比妳更美，然後寫詩讚頌月光。
因為妳太像夢境，讓我無法清醒，所以，我只好假裝夢境比妳真實，然後捎信給我的真實。

我的感性和我的理性開始玩著捉迷藏，因為妳的出現。
我的理性當鬼，他總是比較愛強出頭。
我的感性躲在膽怯背後，他只偶爾探出個頭。

就算把天光月光星光都借來做顆鑽石給妳，我想都還是不夠的。
因為妳在我眼裡的光芒，已經超越了這所有。

這時，理性說: "冷靜點。"
這是，感性說: "勇敢點。"

而那封我自己寄給自己的真實，打開來看，卻是妳的夢境。
我閉上眼睛，輕輕地，在她微開的雙唇上，烙上我的愛情。

【夏天的尾巴】

夏天 ─ 火紅、熾熱、流動著青春的汗水、每秒鐘都蕩漾激情、反叛，義無反顧！

尾巴 ─ 聽說很久以前的人類都曾經擁有，但因為不知道其作用，尾巴也就漸漸的消失。 但，其實，每個人身上都有一條尾巴。

阿月(ENNO飾)是同學心目中是一個搖滾少女，養了一隻貓叫做『夏天』，阿月因為先天性心臟病而休學在家，只好每天跟『夏天』鬼混、彈吉他、到處遊蕩。

沒有去上學的時光，每一天都會有很多的發現，學校裡的超級資優生陳懷鈞(張睿家飾)竟然愛上老師，換來被學校退學的命運，於是街上又多了一個遊蕩的高中生。阿月坦誠的張開雙臂接納陳懷鈞的所有情緒，為他解圍。而陳懷鈞還不太明白患有心臟病的阿月，對生命的期待與熱情。

兩個輟學的高中生天天騎著單車，穿梭在稻田、水圳之間，他們找到一處大人管不到的地方，在高鐵下的一塊荒地。藍天下，他們號召同校的好友另一位資優生雯莉(林涵飾)與熱愛足球卻永遠最後一名的日本轉學生不破朗(藤岡靛飾)，他們就在這塊秘密基地放肆地玩樂。四個人的相聚成為一種互相安慰及鼓勵的力量，一起面對前途，一起享受玩樂，一起解救企圖自殺的沮喪父子。

在晴朗天空下，映照著四個大小孩各自心中的願望與秘密，無論生活是平凡或刺激、順利或挫折，總能將一切轉化的有趣。 這是一種取悅自己的能力，是上天的禮物，就像尾巴一樣，獨處的時候拿來玩樂，沒有目標的時候拿來追尋。

尾巴又有什麼作用呢？就是在找自己的快樂。

最近，心情比平時悸動。

在拿到身分證後，對我最大的益處莫過於踏上圖書之旅。文人畢竟是文人，愛文人，即聞人。讀了痞子蔡的【愛爾蘭咖啡】，感動得說不出話來，遲遲回憶思考，反覆咀嚼。藤井樹的【寂寞之歌】，更是讓人心酸，讓眼框不禁添了一層濕潤，染了一層淡紅。原來，每個人都有自己的寂寞，每個人都唱著自己的寂寞之歌。有的人用微笑帶過，如五月天所描述的 "妳的笑只是妳穿的保護色"。

對我而言，我比較喜歡聆聽 "寂寞在唱歌"，哪怕滄桑、悽涼。

但又或許，我只是妳的也許..

"請問要來點茶或咖啡?"
"咖啡。"
"請問您要哪種咖啡?"
"愛爾蘭咖啡。"
"需要加眼淚嗎?"
"..."

當她第一次替她調煮愛爾蘭咖啡時，因為激動而留下眼淚。為了怕被她看到，他用手指將眼淚擦去，然後偷偷用眼淚再愛爾蘭咖啡杯口畫了一圈。所以，第一口愛爾蘭咖啡的味道，帶著思念被壓抑許久所發酵的味道。

There's an apple tree, who loved a boy deeply.

Everyday, the boy would come and play with the tree. He would gather the leaves of the tree and made into a crown, and would pretend to be the king of the jungle. He would climb to the top of the tree and swing, while savoring the apples. Sometimes, they would play hide-and-seek. When the boy became tired, he would rest under the shelter. The boy loved the tree, and the tree was glad.

As time passed, the boy grew up.. The tree often felt lonely. One day, the boy appeared.

The tree said, 'Climb unto me, have some apples that your joy may be full.'
The boy said,' I have grown up, I no longer climb trees, I want to buy things to find my happiness, I need money, can you give me?'
The tree said, 'I'm sorry, I don't have money, only apples and leaves. Why don't you take the apples and sell them, that you joy may be full.'

Upon hearing that, the boy plucked all the apples. And he left. The tree was glad.

The boy went missing for a long time, and the tree felt very miserable. One day, the boy appeared, and with all comfort and joy, the tree waved its leaves and said,

'Come unto me, have a swing that your joy may be full.'
The boy said,' I'm too busy to climb tree. I need a house, I wanna get married and have kids. Can you give me a house?'
The tree said, 'I'm sorry, I don't have a house, the jungle is my home. But, you can cut away my branches to build a house, that your joy may be full.'

The boy cut off all the branches and went to build a house. The tree was glad.

Another long while went pass, and the boy was nowhere in sight. When he finally appeared, the tree was too happy to say anything, and gently she said,

'Let's play together..'
The boy said, 'I'm too old to play now, and I don't have the mood. I need a boat to bring me on a voyage, Can you give me one?'
The tree said, 'Why don't you cut down my trunk to make a boat, so that it can bring you on your journey, that your joy may be full.'

The boy chopped off the tree trunk, made a boat and went on a voyage. The tree was glad, but not truly.

A long time had passed, and the boy returned once again.

The tree said, 'I'm sorry, I have nothing else to give you now, I have no more apples.'
The boy said, 'My teeth no longer have strength to bite the apples.'
The tree said, 'I have no more branches for you to swing.'
The boy said, 'I'm too old to swing.'
The tree said, 'I have no more trunk for you to climb.'
The boy said, 'I'm too tired, too tired to climb.'
The tree sighed, 'I'm deeply sorrowful, I wish I can give you something, but I have nothing else to give, I'm just an old stump, I'm very sorry...'
The boy said, 'I don't need anything now, just a quiet place to sit and to rest, because I'm really tired.'
The tree said, 'oh..'
She strengthened her body and said, 'C'mon, child, an old tree stump is a good resting place, have a seat, have a seat, have a good rest.'

The boy sat down, and the tree was glad..

~AN ODE TO ALL MOTHERS~

或許，反正都一個人慣了，去哪裡都無所謂吧.. 貳拾叁歲的九局下半，我應該反省覺悟，還是當它只是個美麗的錯誤..

天冷就回來

從前對著收音機學唱舊的歌
我問媽媽為什麼傷心像快樂
媽媽笑著說她也不懂得
我想出去走一走哦媽媽點點頭

天冷你就回來
別在風中徘徊
哦媽媽眼裏有明白還有一絲無奈
天冷我想回家童年已經不在
昨天的雨點撒下來那滋味叫作愛

Anyone Lived in a Pretty How Town

anyone lived in a pretty how town
(with up so floating many bells down)
spring summer autumn winter
he sang his didn't he danced his did

women and men(both little and small)
cared for anyone not at all
they sowed their isn't they reaped their same
sun moon stars rain

children guessed(but only a few
and down they forgot as up they grew
autumn winter spring summer)
that noone loved him more by more

when by now and tree by leaf
she laughed his joy she cried his grief
bird by snow and stir by still
anyone's any was all to her

someones married their everyones
laughed their cryings and did their dance
(sleep wake hope and then)
theysaid their nevers they slept their dream

stars rain sun moon
(and only the snow can begin to explain
how children are apt to forget to remember
with up so floating many bells down)

one day anyone died i guess
(and noone stooped to kiss his face)
busy folk buried them side by side
little by little and was by was

all by all and deep by deep
and more by more they dream their sleep
noone and anyone earth by april
wish by spirit and if by yes

women and men(both dong and ding)
summer autumn winter spring
reaped their sowing and went their came
sun moon stars rain